A dog’s tail … It’s that time of yeer agen
by Callum McDonald
Gidday readas. Billy Borda Colly here an’ let me tell yer it’s that time o’ yeer agen when Boss’s gerlfrend Sharlene gets in wot Boss reckins is a reel tizzy, cos Krissmiss is juss around the korner.
(Well, I had look down atta kattil stop wen I gotta papa fer Boss ta reed at smoko, an’ didint see Santa coming round tha korner downa main road.) Maybe soon eh? Anyway, wen Boss an’ Sharlene were havin’ smoko ona steps ofa woolshed, she hada bita papa an’ pen an’ tole Boss she needid sum munny. “Gotta go inter town ina ute, deah,” she trole him. “We gotta get sum dickerations fer a Krismiss tree, an’ a lotta prezzies fer the daugter, ana neecis an ‘ nefews, an yer Mum, an tha shearmilkers too.”
Boss went a bit wite wen she said all that.”I hope yer don’t reckin yer gonna go shoppin ina city,” he sed. ”Blimmin petrol bluddy ‘spensive.”
“Nah,” sed Sharlene. “We jus gonna shop ina village. Get sum support fer our local shops eh.” Boss lookt a bit happier then.
“Wot about Krissmiss grub, an’ we gonna need sum drinks eh? Sum bear and whine, bear for me and whine fer you an’ Mum. We gonna hava turkee, or maybe bowl a good hoggit fer Krissmiss dinna?”
Then Sharlene give me a pat an’ made me day.”Tell yer wot. Lets get a good porker from our naybor Bluey. I know a certain Borda Colly wot rilly does a good job ona proppitty, wot also is a bit parshill to sum cracklin.”
Well readas, wen she sed that I turn me eye dog button on an’ give the Boss me very Best Stare, an’ held it wile I held me breth. An it werked, Boss give me a grin.
“Ya reckin ya desrve it Dog,” he sed.”Well, I reckin ya do. Tell ya wot deah, lets jump ina ute, go inta town. We kin have lunch atta pub, an do our shoppin’ downa main street. Support the lokil shops.Yoo kin come too Dog an help choose a porker ona way back.”
Now I tells yer wot readas, a farm dog’s life isint too bad wen yer get to help choose yer Krissmiss tucker. An’ getting the afternoon off ina town? I hope Boss parks near tha bakery. Or outside the buchers maybe? Ya git a bit tied of smellin’ sheep wool an cows, ana rabits been a bit few an far between lately. Thena Boss sed: “We betta hava shower, I’ll hava shave, an you Dog, yer kin go an jump ina dam an’ hava good shake ina sun, before we go.”
Yep readas I hada good roll ina cow paddick this mornin’ an’ Boss gotta go an spoil it. Still, I get to pick cracklin’ onna trotter, and read alla emails in town too. Krissmiss!
Ya gotta love it eh?
Cheers an’ hava good one an’ like Sharlene always ses. Drive safe.