A dog’s tail …
by Anonymous Author
Paw-ternity leave? — werld’s gone mad?
‘Well, I’ll be darned Dog, nek thing y’no is goin’ to be set workin’ ours for workin’ dogs ona farm, the way its goin’.”
Well, gidday readas an welkom to Billy Borda Colly workin’ dog kolum for 2018.
As usual, Boss was sittin’ havin’ smoko ona woolshed steps, wiv his gerfrend Sharlene passin’ out scones and cupsatee, wile he red the papa I got froma kattilstop atta road gate.
“Oh deah,” sed Sharlene.”Wot has takin yer fancy ina papa.?”
Boss showed he the page he was reeding and lookt at me too. “Bimmin werld’s gone a bit crazy, nah, gone to tha dogs I reckin.”
But he give me a pat ana wink, ter say he was not reel seryiss.
“It says hear that peeple ina towns are getting time off ter look after puppy dogs an’ other pets. Now we herd of them getting leave wen having babys, but not jus’ becos, they gotta new dog.”
Sharlene took the papa, an cos she’s a skoolteacher, she red in her skool voice.
‘Paw-ternity leave and flexible hours to care for new pets are becoming more accepted in workplaces here and overseas. ‘Furry companions are often viewed as members of the family, and some businesses are acknowledging the important role pets play in workers’ well-being, giving paid leave to look after new pets, or even in the event of a pet death,” “Well Ill be bxx (censored by Sharlene) seda Boss.” Mite be all right fer townies, but wot about Dog here. Mite suddinly get ideas about his importince. Nek thing there mite be a workin’ dog revillushin, demanding days off ter get more attenshin, like city dogs. I kin see this leedin’ to trubble.
Maybe we gootta get an innerspring mattriss, and a ear condishin kennil ter keep em happy?”
Well readas, I was scoffin’ a bit of scone Sharlene snuck me wena Boss was talkin’, an I maniged ter swallo it wivout chokin.’ Wot did Boss meen?
Sharlene saw I was givin’ Boss the EYE (cos’ of course, I an eye dog ona proppitty.)
“Nah Billy,” she said. “Boss just havin a bit of a giggle.”
The Boss showed her a bit more ina papa.”Says hear that sum bisnisses in Orklind and Chistcherch even let peeple bring there dogs to work ina office.
Now thats not a problim hear ona farm, eh Dog. Thas yore job ina first place, givin’ me a hand wiv stock, getting sheep rounded up an’ inter the yards fer sheering.”
Boss is rite. Never betta than wen I got plinty of jobs ter do.
“But sed Sharlene. “Wot do dogs do ina office? Roun’ up wastpapa baskits? Herd up computas?”
Boss shook his head wen she started giggling. “C’mon Dog, we gonna shift that mob up ter the back paddicks,” he sed.
Yep readas. Never mine paw-ternity.
At least I am bluddy impaw-tent ina scheme of things hear ona farm.